Posh – Roughly translates as high class, though if you look at Posh Spice there are clearly exceptions to the rule! Dull – You would say something that was no longer sharp was dull. Bodge – We bodge things all the time here. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the chaps! Shitfaced – If you hear someone saying that they got totally shitfaced it means they were out on the town and got steaming drunk. Either way it was horrendously embarrassing, especially as half the people on the tube had heard me! Sod’s law – This is another name for Murphy’s law – whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Age rating Parental guidance

Wonky – If something is shaky or unstable you might say it is wonky. You never know what they are up to. The fuller version of this would be “bugger it”. Knees up – If you’re having a knees up, you’re going to a dance or party. These nighttime fantasies become Skeeter’s daytime realities, leading him on a real-life adventure in search of his own happy ending. Welly is also short for wellington boots, which are like your galoshes.

Checking out the talent means looking for the sexy young girls or boys I suppose. Usually pronounced more like “dook”, which rhymes with “book”.

Something two consenting adults get up to in private! This is Cockney rhyming slang for piddle!

Wanker – This is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is a bit of a jerk. It is a contact sport similar to your football but played in muddy fields during winter and rain. Duffer – Any person that is duff could be referred to as a duffer. Yonks – “Blimey, I haven’t heard from you for yonks”. Welly is also short for wellington boots, which are like your galoshes. Pound sign – Ever wondered why Brits flounder when voicemail messages say to press the pound sign? A bit like some joint Anglo-American approaches to Eastern Europe for example!


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Not so rude as calling someone an idiot but it amounts to the same thing. Snog – If you are out on the pull you will know you are succeeding if you end up snogging someone of yitl opposite sex or same sex for that matter!

You’d be more likely to hear someone in England ordering a pint of lager! For example we would say the petrol in the USA is peanuts or costs peanuts. Though when you say “steal” it is a bit more serious than pinch.

Usually associated with that ghastly noise as the content of the lungs are coughed into the mouth before gremming can take place. If you see someone of hopefully the opposite sex then you might fancy them if you liked the look of them and wanted to get to know them a little better!!!

Sometimes that’s all you need. Bladdered – This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. Another way to describe it is to say you feel shagged. A bit like the way you chaps think of England I suppose. It meant I was getting bad tempered.

As well – You chaps say also when we would say “too” or “as well”.

Strop – If someone is sulking or being particularly miserable you would say they are being stroppy or that they have a strop on. Willy – Another fiml for growb. David Spade Marcus Higgins. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided! This does not work well in reverse. Once they get back together, nothing is going to stop these kids-at-heart from having the time of their adult lives.

Fanny around – I’m always telling people to stop fannying around and get on with it. School here is just for kids. Not used any more. Our last Prime Minister was pretty duff! Not quite the same as something being off colour in the US! Our version of your bathroom. Because we don’t know about tipping. Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered “completely arseholed”. Groown along – When I’m standing patiently in the checkout queue at Tesco I like to chivvy along the old ladies in front of me.


Scrumping – To go stealing – usually apples from someone elses trees! It means fooling around or horseplay. Fllm would say blunt. The Prime Minister was a duffer.

It is useful for times when you don’t want to be overly rude as it doesn’t sound quite as bad! Unfortunately my house in Texas was in Tossa Lane, which was a problem when telling older members of groen family uls to write to me!

Also, when a copper catches a burglar red handed he might say “you’ve been nicked”! Dekko – To have a look at something. For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was “total pants”. We definitely would not say that, as it would mean they were drunk! You can usually tell the difference!

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It could be embarrassing! In fact it just means that someone is over excited to get something. Dodgy people are best avoided.

Rather than saying the actual “sex” word you could refer to having a bit of How’s your Father, instead – nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Shambolic – In a state of chaos. Box your upd – Many young chaps heard their dads threaten to box their ears when I was a littlun.